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The Search for the Holy Grail

Or: Why the Prayers to the Wizards of Artesia were Removed

Characters having a part in the story:
  • King Aarthur: King of the Britains.
  • Sir Bedevere: The wise knight of the round table.
  • Lancelotte: The knight, who says NI!

Subordinate characters:
  • Valance: A member of the knights guild.
  • Sai: The toughest member of the knights guild.
  • Zelda, Raistlin and Cassie: Wizards of Artesia.
  • 64 black dragons: Pets of Raistlin.
  • Centaur guard: The guard of Firbos.

Narrator:
  • Celeste: Merchant of Firbos

PART I.

This story was told to me, by Celeste.

One day, three knights (orcs) decided to search for the holy grail in Artesia. Thous name were: King Aarthur, Lancelotte and Sir Bedevere. Aarthur was their leader, and Lancelotte and Bedevere respected him deeply (probably as the only ones). Aarthur heard that the grail could be found in 'Beginners Clearing', so they needed to buy a ticket to travel from Occam to Firbos. But as they just had been born in this world, they of course were very poor. So Lancelotte thought out a cunning plan: 
    Lancelotte: "Let's us pray to the fair wizard, Zelda. She
         then might grant us a gift."
    Aarthur: "A brilliant plan, my good knight."

As Bedevere agreed with them, they all kneeled down and prayed. In return of their noble prayer, they received a small shining ring. Then Aarthur exclaimed, after a long period of thinking: 
    Aarthur: "Hmm, we can't use this ring, to buy a ticket. So
              we have to exchange this ring for some money in a
              shop."

And so, the ring was sold in the shop. As they only received 5 gold coins, Aarthur said, while grumbling about how stingy Zelda was: 
    Aarthur: "Let us kneel and pray 63 times more, and then
              sell the new rings. Then we ought to be rich
              enough to buy 3 tickets."
    Sir Bedevere: "Your words prove, that you are the true
                   king."

After they had prayed and sold the 63 rings, they bought and used a ticket to Firbos. They stepped outside mobius, where they met the centaur guard: 
    Centaur guard: "Welcome to Firbos."
    Aarthur: "Thank you, brave guard. Have you heard anything
          about, where the holy grail might be?"
    Centaur guard: "Welcome to Firbos."
    Aarthur: "Hmm. This guard seems to suffer from a great lack
          of intelligence. Any ideas, my brave knights?"
    Lancelotte: "We could try to ask some of the other knights."

[*chat*] Bedevere: We are the knights, who says NI! And we are searching for the holy grail in Beginners Clearing. Can you help us?
[*chat*] Lancelotte: NI! NI!
[*chat*] Valance: *chuckle*
[*chat*] Aarthur: As king of the Britains, I command you to help us on our quest.
[*chat*] Lancelotte: NI! NI!
[*chat*] Aarthur: If you do not tell us, Lancelotte will say NI! to you once more.
[*chat*] Sai: Stop, I can't take any more. Pray to Raistlin, and he will tell you. *evil grin*
    Aarthur: "Let us follow our fellow knight's advice.......
    Bedevere: "Maybe the noble wizard, Raistlin is just as
           stingy, as Zelda. So we might need to pray 64
               times to him too."
    Aarthur: "Good idea, Sir Bedevere. We'll do that."

And without further delays, they all kneeled and prayed 64 times to Raistlin. As they raised their heads, they saw 64 black dragons circling down from the sky, while they heard a distant voice saying:
"So, you worship the dark powers. Now receive my deadly present and enjoy it." 
    Lancelotte: "Why did he say it 64 times?"
    Aarthur: "Uh-oh. Now I know, why they call it Deeper
          Trouble. Be brave, my fellow knights. Hurry
          and use your deadly weapon against the dragons,
          Lancelotte"
    Lancelotte: "NI! NI! Nnn..... SHIT!"

[*chat*] Bedevere: HELP, HELP.
[*chat*] Valance: What?
[*chat*] Bedevere: IN BEGINNERS CLEARING. NEED HELP BADLY. HURRY.
[*chat*] Valance: Now calm down, I'll be there in a minute to help you poor newbies out. *pat helpless newbies*
    Aarthur: "You coward Bedevere. As knights of the round
          table...
    Lancelotte: "And also the knights who says NI!"
    Aarthur: "..., we'll fight to death."
    Bedevere: "In that case, consider me as a knight off duty.
           Bye!!!"
    Lancelotte (singing in chorus with Aarthur): "Brave, brave
           Sir Bedevere, brave he ran away"
    Aarthur (singing too): "Brave, brave Sir Bedevere,..."

As they were singing, they were discovered by the dragons. 
    Dragon 1: "Aaarggghhh. I hate poor singing. I'll toast these
           imbecile creatures."
    Dragon 2: "I hate raw meat. Give them an extra toast for
           me."

The first dragon, coughed and breathed a mighty flame at Lancelotte. 
    Lancelotte (while screaming in agony): "I'm no longer the
           knight, who says NI!. I'm now the knight, who say:
               Run for your life!!!!"
    Aarthur: "Why, you cowards. Now I have to kill them on my
          own."
    Aarthur: "CHAAAAARRRGG.........."

A long, horrifying scream is heard from far away, it sounds like Aarthur. 
    Dragon 1: "*cheer*"
    Dragon 2: "I'll fry the two, who ran away."

In the meantime, Valance had packed his equipment, and left for Firbos. 
    Centaur guard: "Welcome to Firbos."
    Valance: "Shut up."

The noble knight Valance headed for Beginners Clearing. As he entered the clearing, he saw the horrible sight of Aarthurs roasted body. Before, he could make a move, he was surrounded by the remaining 63 black dragons. 
    Dragon 1 (cheering): "Fresh meat!!"
    Dragon 64 (also cheering): "Yeah!! I like Dinner
          Transportable. BarBeCue-Time!!"

With an incredible agility, Valance succeeded in escaping. 
    Dragons (singing in chorus): "Brave, brave Sir Valance,
        brave he ran away."
    Dragon 1: "Let's get him!!"

A long, horrifying scream is heard from far away, it sounds like Valance.
[*chat*] Ghost: Damn, I lost 250k exp there :((((((
Valance has logged off.
Valance has logged on.
[*chat*] Valance: What the hell are 64 black dragons doing in Beginners Clearing?!?!?

Bedevere: "Do something, Lancelotte. And do it quick!!!!!" Lancelotte: "NI! NI! NI! Nnn........"
Two long, horrifying screams are heard from far away. They sound like Bedevere and Lancelotte. 
    Ghost: "NI! NI! NI!"
    Ghost 2 (crying): "Damn. I almost escaped."
    Ghost 3: "Listen, my fellow ghosts. I have heard, that you
          can pray to a wizard called Cassie, and thereby
              restore your life!!"
    Ghost 2: "64 times?"
    Ghost 3 (while kicking ghost 2): "OH, shut up Bedevere."

As they kneeled, and prayed (of course Bedevere did this 64 times), they appeared in a more solid form. 
    Dragon 2: "Why, you sleazy scoundrels. Eat this!!"

Three long, horrifying screams are heard from far away. They sound like Aarthur, Bedevere and Lancelotte. 
    Ghost: "Let's pray again"

These scene occurred several times, until....: 
    Ghost 3: "This is ridiculous, brave fellows. Let's commit
          suicide. I've had enough Deeper Trouble."

Aarthur has logged off.
Bedevere has logged off.
Lancelotte has logged off.

Epilogue

That day, a lot of newbies, died in Beginners Clearing, while searching for a dog-bone. The wizards of Artesia realized what tragic consequences the praying system could lead to, and therefore the prayers were removed.

This story is based on real coincidents, and the characters who plays a part in the story are all real.
With these words, Celeste finished her story.

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